Reverse Restaurant Reviews are reviews of my recent dining experiences in restaurants, eateries and bars in London but with a twist.
The twist is the philosophy I base my reviews upon: reviews herein concentrate on the quality of dessert menus and toilet facilities which in my opinion indicate the motivation of restaurants. The more thought and imagination put into end-of-experience factors, ie desserts and toilets, the more likely the establishment values the total user experience.
Not only will you find my top restaurant choices you would find me dining at but also those which attempt to appease my returning wallet rather than my custom:
Wagamama, Croydon, August 2008
Toilets: 5/10
I fear this is a perennial problem with chains, even successful ones. There was a smell of bleach and urine in the air which unfortunately on that occasion caught the back of my throat. While there was an acceptable level of cleanliness, there was one broken tap and paper towels were overflowing onto the floor from a full bin. As such, what was initially a wonderful meal quickly turned into a bad experience within 3 seconds of entering the toilets. A real shame.
Dessert: 7/10
I noted three original desserts on the menu. I chose the sweet tamarind pavlova with a chilli coulis. Adventurous combinations of unconventional dessert ingredients really appeal to me; the sweet meringue with a balanced chilli kick particularly so. However, I was somewhat disappointed when I eagle-eyed the waiter assembling the dessert from a fridge with the assistance of a crib sheet. While not expecting kitchen staff to prepare meringues there and then in a fast noodle bistro setting, I did expect a freshly prepared chilli coulis. Another shame.
Overall: 12/20
Claridges Bar, repeat custom
This is without doubt my favourite bar for a late drink with close friends in London. The barman has consistently mixed a sweet rum manhattan just the way I like it (with a dash of Maraschino) since the very first time I ordered one. Without meaning to sound arrogant, I am now offered first class service ahead of a waiting crowd each time I enter. My earlier tipping well for exceptional service pays dividends at subsequent visits. I would encourage you to do the same when you find a bar and barman worthy of those special occasions in life.
Patara, Greek Street, London, February 2007
[review to be added]
Mahiki Bar, Dover Street, London, June 2007
[review to be added]
Gordon Ramsey at Claridges, London, November 2006
Toilets: 8/10
GR’s toilet facilities are the Claridges Hotel’s public restrooms. The gents had traditional chest-to-floor height individual urinals which were fitted with clear glass panels at each urinal floor. These panels tilted to 45 degrees towards the user resulting in a very effective splash guard. The facility was staffed by an unintrusive attendant who mixed water at the right temperature (warm to hot without scolding), deftly offered Molton Brown toiletries and unfurled the whitest Egyptian weave towels.
Dessert: 10/10
With pineapple done 4 ways, including carpaccio of pineapple, this was truly exceptional. Part of the gourmet tasting menu at £65.00 per person, the whole meal with unobstrusive, impeccably attentive and completely approachable front of house staff, and rounded off with an unsolicited tour of the kitchens and introductions to the chefs, confirmed that it was undoubtedly my best restaurant experience to date.
Overall: 18/20
